I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's blow job season.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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