she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
