So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
that is very illegal...i love you.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
