We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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