New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
