we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
