We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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