Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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