My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
