After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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