covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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