WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
