i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
