I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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