Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
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Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize