During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
