oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
