I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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