i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
