This show inspires me to have sex in space
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's never too late to be topless.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
