Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When are your genitals available?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
