You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize