Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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