Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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