you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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