I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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