i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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