I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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