Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
