Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
