i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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