He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
