i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
