question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize