I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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