Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
