i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
