it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
