ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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