Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.