Someone shit on the floor
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...