I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
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State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS