Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is this like a preordered booty call?