Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.