I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
