He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
