Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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