One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
