I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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