I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Even my vagina gasped.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
