You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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