Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
