Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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