It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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