Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
