Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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