I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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