i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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