UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
