It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize