I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
