Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk